the weight of feeling like a failure is HUGE
Ever look off into the distant horizon while feeling like a failure?
Ever take a deep breath before opening your car door as you attempt to muster up courage?
Ever watch others laugh, smile, and wonder why is everyone around me succeeding as I continue to fall?
Truth be told a lot of us crawl in bed at night feeling like a failure to one degree or another.
Sometime we did not get the things done that we wanted to. Sometimes, what we accomplish feels insignificant and leaves us unsatisfied.
Here are three suggestions to help squash “feeling like a failure” LIKE the bug it is!
Suggestion #1: You have to be definitive
I like many others find myself haunted by a vague sense of guilt that I am not doing enough, not providing enough, not….. ….. …..
Until I personally define “enough” I’ll be chasing a leprechaun. Until I define “enough” the voices will never be silent! And what if I define “enough” and am not satisfied with my definition – aka: what if it’s not enough?
And until “enough” is defined and then “success” is defined, I’ve found that I get sidetracked instead of focusing on what needs to get done!
Defining “enough” and “success” makes people focused (so I am told).
Defining the specific action items necessary to accomplishing success is what makes it practical.
Bottom line: Definitions provide you with direction, guidance, and a process, but don’t determine the outcome.
Suggestion #2: You have to be on target (specific)
Sometimes definitions are very scattered. I’ve found this to be a personal issue I wrestle with.
When I was young I regularly shot a 22 and a 12 gauge.
The 22 would put a single round hole through the target; while, the 12 gauge shotgun would send hundreds of pellets throughout the target!
I’m finding that if my definition of success isn’t concrete or focused, then any attempt at determining whether I’ve been successful (or not) is scattered throughout my target.
Somedays it honestly pisses me off! It’s no fun being unable to determine whether your day was a success or not!
Merely hoping it was successful is a far cry from knowing it was.
A day of optimism, and good intentions may be meaningful but has also robbed me you of the satisfaction of knowing my day ended well.
If you’re driven and this stuff comes natural maybe just maybe you should step back and make sure that you are still hitting the right target.
Suggestion #3: Be realistic! AKA: Live in the moment / reality!
My unrealistic definitions have set me up for failure time and time again.
I’m a simple man and in need of a simple mission, target, and definition.
The more often my definition of success is dreamy, unrealistic, or unattainable – the more often I’ve felt like a failure. And the more often I fail, the more often I feel like a failure!
TRUTH: Sometimes, life is just HARD!!!
Unrealistic definitions bring greater let-down, which can shatter your hopes!
So let’s put it all together…
How would you define “enough”?
What’s your definition of a “successful day”?
These may be too broad of a question. So let’s be more specific, because each day is different.
How would you define “enough” today?
What are the 3-5 things you do not want to live without?
What’s your definition of a successful today?
What would bring a smile to your face as you look off into the distant horizon?
What’s the minimum that needs to be done to make today a success?
Defining that allows you to create small wins that create momentum.
Which empowers you to get way more done than any guilt ever could have accomplished.
Exceeding expectations leads to satisfying and significant work. So here’s how you can make tomorrow a success:
- Pick the minimum number of tasks required to make your day a success. Do this first thing in the morning or the night before, and try limiting the list to no more than three items.
- Do those things first. Make them a priority ahead of everything else.
- Get more done with whatever time is left in the day. Use that sense of accomplishment you feel to create momentum.
- Go to bed with the feeling that your day was a success (because it was) and do it all over again.
*FYI: I struggle with this.
*FYI: I won’t provide you with false hope or “three steps to …..”
I will promise to be open and share with you things I am trying.
What few things could you accomplish today that would make you feel like today was a success? Share in the comments