In a world where some are more connected by a bandwidth than face to face interaction, connectivity seems almost free. Getting on a stage today, before others is easier than ever and requires less energy than adding to my grandfathers hand written Rolodex! As the drum of reality and the stresses of lives seem to close in on me, I’m going to add to this series by tackling another question I’ve been asking myself:
“How do you be genuine and do life with other people for the long haul?”
Why?
You have to care about people!
You have to talk about things that matter to others and you.
You have to bring things to the surface that have the potential to make a difference.
You have to create something people connect with, something that’s worth taking a stand out, something that will make a difference.
How do you get them interact and care also?
Three words / Seventeen letters: (1) EMPATHY (2) GENUINE CONNECTION
Empathy is the capacity to recognize the emotions that are being experienced by another or yourself. You and I may need to have a certain amount of empathy before we are able to experience a genuine state of sympathy or compassion. In other words, if you haven’t walked in someone elses shoes how do you know what they are experiencing?
Empathy turns into sympathy or compassion and results in a genuine connections! Then genuine connections are woven through-out this new relationship as trust is established and developed!
Without “US”, trUSt, does not exist!
This process is relationship 101 or life skills 101 and is enhanced by:
By rolling up our sleeves and showing our scars.
By pulling back the curtains and sharing our insecurities.
By exposing our weakness.
And by being transparent while feeling uncomfortable.
The only proven way to guarantee growth from any audience is to:
Be genuine, care, and value people.
“Treat others as you yourself desire to be treated.” Harry J. Gensler The Golden Rule
Then and only then will others care about what you have to say.
In other words let your guard down and show them you’re a person worthy of their trust.
How can you to do that?
• Admit to a recent screw-up.
Example: I recently ate an entire zip lock bag of leftover homemade cookie dough that my wife asked me not to…. … I’ve recently used all of our savings working for a startup company and now not sure what the hell I’m going to do….
• Highlight a personal flaw.
Example: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” – The Golden Rule. AKA: I’ve trusted others to have the same values too much.
• Apologize for a mistake nobody caught. (Mental Games / Self-view)
Example: Returning to past addictions and allowing mental games of self-hatred back in.
• Tell the story of your biggest failure. (Hidden addictions)
Example: My closed closet, my hidden addictions… pornography, depression, and abusive self-view.
• Share a fear or challenge you still have NOT overcome.
Example: I fear failing those I care about the most and losing everything we’ve worked hard to gain.
I often cringe at each of theses steps!
Why? It’s painful because I’ve been hurt by others.
Why do I continue to share and expose myself to the possibilities of being hurt again? Because I’ve found the alternative to be far worse.
To live a pretentious life, to masquerade through-out my day, to not really live and be confined to a personal prison is not what I call living!
When you are you, and let yourself be human, others just might do the same.
Now that’s something worth talking about!
That’s remarkable!
That’s interesting!
That’s compelling and is worth talking about.
This is, perhaps, the most important reason we open our mouths or place our fingers on the keyboard. We want to make an impact, to leave a legacy.
How do we know when we’re doing that, as opposed to just making noise?
Time will tell.
If people hear what you have to say and tell you it was “nice” or that they enjoyed it, then you’re in trouble. That’s lip service, friends, and nothing more.
On the other hand, if others feel empowered with an idea, concept, or story that they can take, share, and spread, then you may have something special! If strangers email you, explaining how your message has literally changed their lives, then you are making a difference!
First, you need to take all your passion and value-adding ideas and put them somewhere.
*Have a way to archive your best thoughts and share them over and over again.
Next, make sure this resource has a means of inviting people into an inner circle.
For example, on a blog (which is my preferred medium, since it’s free), you could encourage people to subscribe via email so they don’t miss a post.
Lastly, with this thing you’ve build, in someway be generous.
Why? Because the point isn’t to make money, but to leave an impact.
Dazzle and delight people!
Give people more than they ask for!
And see what happens!
The irony, of course, is that by resisting the temptation to converse and creating something instead, you are giving people a reason to not stop talking about you.
Now it’s your turn to CREATE!
Create with purpose!
Make it worth everyone’s time!
Related posts
How To Guarantee Online Audience Growth
Part 1 of the series, How To Guarantee Online Audience Growth
Stop Oozing With Envy & Start Having Online Audience Growth
Part 2 of the series, How To Guarantee Online Audience Growth
Social Media Is More Than Conversations and Ratios!
Part 3 of the series, How To Guarantee Online Audience Growth
Create Something People Can Connect With!
Part 4 of the series, How To Guarantee Online Audience Growth
