Why do people sometimes sabotage their own success?

Why do some perform well during training or game time simulations but choke in the actual delivery?

Some have come to the conclusion that this problem relates to a “fear of failure”. Others say it relates to the “fear of success” – as you might imagine, the fear of success is very rare compared to fear of failure.

Trust me, both of these fears cause individuals to “get in their own way” and experiencing fear, anxiety, tension and worry about producing and achieving the desired results. I’ve come to believe: these fears come from two very different sources.

Individuals develop a fear of failure when they worry about not getting what they want when they have worked hard to obtain it. Such as, winning an age division race or championship.

People develop a fear of success when they worry too much about what comes with being successful. 

Most experience a fear of failure and not the fear of success. 

What can you do when facing one or both elements of fear? 

What happens when fear seems to be playing at tug-of-war within your mind?

What if you, like myself, sometimes find yourself in a place feeling mentally paralyzed by fear?

First you must know your opponent!

AKA, you must know how fear tries to place a choke hold on you.

I’d be lying if I said I don’t wrestle with fear. Fear and me go head to head on a regular basis, maybe even more than most.  

I find myself wrestling with the fear of losing a project, match, game or race. Fear may have the potential to capsize even the best of crews, but it can and will be overcome by you if you act offensively.

Many, like myself again, deal with the fear of negative social evaluation. After public speaking in ministry for years, I have developed a fear of  immediate negative evaluation to the point that it took the joy away from speaking.

And at times, I deal with the fear of letting others down. I do not want to let others down because I truly value the team and each persona of the team — coaches, teammates, and fans.

Some deal with a fear of putting in the effort and not ever getting the “payoff” or simply not playing to their potential when it counts. They don’t want their hard work, talent and long practices to result in nothing (e.g. wins, trophies, scholarships, careers, etc.).

Then there is the fear of not performing up to others’ expectations. Young individuals worry may worry most about not meeting others’ expectations.

The fear of embarrassment;

Fear of being rejected, losing respect, or not gaining approval;

Fear of making mistakes and not performing perfectly after having worked so hard;

The list can go on, with each fear very real to a particular individual.

Step one, be honest and list out your fears.

Why?  So that you can recognize your fears and overcome them.

Next week, I share how I’ve started overcoming my most paralyzing fears and how you can take steps towards pining those fears you wrestle.